Maybe you can already tell, but my mind works in mysterious ways. I love the mystery in life, it doesn’t threaten me. But I love it, even more, when science meets spirituality, and I’m open enough to “connect the dots”. That’s when life really starts to get interesting to me. And that’s really how I discovered flow.
For over 7 years now, I’ve studied with many who are highly educated on the concept and experience of flow. I’d consider them experts in their knowledge from the biological, pharmacological, psychological, and spiritual aspects… and yet, in 7 years of studying and workshops with these experts, I still feel that my exploration has only just begun.
So no, I haven’t written a book and I’m no guru. Instead, I’m someone who actually excelled at struggling in life. Yeah, I’m pretty sure my bus pass had a VIP star because there was definitely a reserved seat for me on the “Struggle Bus”. In fact, it felt like the first few decades of my life I was at war with myself, physically, emotionally, spiritually trying to make sense of the meaning of it all.
It wasn’t until my early 30’s that I discovered unified physics and my worldview started to change. Simultaneously, during years of transpersonal work, I was beginning to understand a different story and have powerful, unique experiences that lead me to open up to explore new perspectives. I began to allow my curiosity to unfold new ways of seeing the world.
In fact, many of my beliefs were redefined because the more I learned, the more I felt I really didn’t know anything! There was this humbling realization that for much of my adult life I was functioning in a “default mode” where I was mostly living in response to the world around me, unaware of my true connection and guidance. This was really draining me of hope and a deeper appreciation for life.
Fortunately, my new inner experience started to bring me the richness and color and deeper meaning I was looking for. Sure, the outside experience can be full of delight, and there is lots to learn there, too. But I was learning to step fully into my life and looking back now, I can see how primed I was for the growth ahead of me. All I needed was a spark to ignite, and that spark was the state of FLOW.
In 2013, with a good friend of mine, we launched a dance music lifestyle brand called Fluo Apparel. Why Fluo? Simply, “Fluo” is Latin for “Flow”. While the brand was popular, we lacked the resources to make it successful. Through my branding efforts, I discovered extensive research on flow. As I delved deeper, I could feel something very powerful about it. I just knew this brand could be reimagined to serve a higher purpose, but I realized I needed to step back and learn more about flow.
And right away I received one of my biggest lessons about flow, as a state of nonresistance. One needs to have enough awareness to know when to let go. It wasn’t a popular decision, I can tell you that. But I knew there was something incredibly special about flow, and my intuition was telling me to protect and preserve what I was building at all costs. In late 2014, we closed Fluo Apparel, and as you can imagine the next couple of years were incredibly hard for me. It wasn’t easy letting go of something for which I had so much passion.
Fortunately, this awareness of flow was a huge spark and it was more than enough to create a burning ember of curiosity that helped me stay open and find authentic meaning in my life once again. As I said at the start, I began to study with experts and I discovered synchronicity and all things that make up this flow. Soon I was exploring the very life force, Prana, Collective Consciousness, that Source Energy that flows to and through all of us and connects everything in the Universe. It was a very intelligent and powerful Energy with which I felt connected and one with.
I knew my exploration was never going to end, so in 2017 I created a new brand simply called FLUO.
You see, the more I learned about and experienced flow, the better my experiences became and the more skillful I became at creating the life I wanted. Not only did I find hope again, but I found more peace and harmony and overall zeal for life… and, I discovered, it was the same for everyone else! There were many more amazing explorers of this experience in life, and I wanted to create a new lifestyle brand for those who want to dance with life. For those who understand that flow is the key to transcending the sense of worry and control that haunts the majority of us. As the physicist, Sky Nelson-Isaacs said, “Living in flow is a rich, complex process in which human values and experiences play an essential role.” Why wouldn’t I want to create a community around this artful way of life?
And so I began saving money for the initial bootstrap capital and laying the groundwork for FLUO. I didn’t have even half the funds I needed by 2020 when the world began to endure a painful pandemic, and I knew I really needed to get moving on FLUO. It is gut-wrenching to watch our communities’ mental health deteriorate, and the erosion of social cohesion nationally and globally, especially when you know why it’s happening and that there’s a very viable solution—one that is proven.
The Tao De Ching, an ancient philosophical text from over 2,400 years ago, describes the way this energy flows. In fact, the “Tao” actually means the “Way”. My understanding of flow didn’t just help me out of a state of depression or anxiety. Those were just the symptoms. Learning about this way of life, truly delivered me from a devastating loss of meaning and a haunting lifetime of suicidal ideation. This new art of living consciously, which I call FLUO, was creating genuine joy and hope in my life.
And in November 2020, the choice of when should “launch” FLUO became very clear, very quickly. At the time, I was the Chief of Staff for a Boulder cannabis company that began struggling and needed to make some cutbacks. The CEO was a dear friend who cared for me and loved what I was building with FLUO, which influenced her decision to kindly pay me severance and send me on my way. Oh boy! I sure felt the irony and power of that cliche scenario unfolding. You know, the one where a passionate, aspiring entrepreneur who needed a push was delivered the very catalyst for the ignition… by getting laid off. HA! Textbook!
This will always be a very emotional memory for me. It took a couple of days to come to the realization that this felt like divine guidance, a clear nudge from the Universe, and although I had no clue how FLUO was going to happen, I chose to trust it. I chose to finally answer the call that’s been singing in my heart every single day since 2014. I’ll never forget the precise moment when the commitment was inscribed on my heart. I was at my desk in the basement of a home in Boulder that I had fallen in love with and was under contract to buy from the landlord. I leaned back from the spreadsheets and planning, feeling the weight of all the life changes that would need to happen, the sacrifices required, the excitement, and even the fear. I could feel the power of the moment. It was pivotal. The words, “I’m all in, Nate!” came pouring out from my heart and soul. I felt like I was exploding! Laughing. Crying. Feeling the full intensity of my choice. I kept repeating to myself out loud over and over, “I’m all in. I’m all in. I’m all in!”
It was then that I cemented my commitment to bring FLUO to all my friends and family. I had to cancel my purchase contract and let go of the home I loved, which resulted in the landlord canceling my lease and I had to find a place to live within 30 days. It also meant I couldn’t move into my house in Denver because I needed the equity in the home for seed funds for FLUO. My brother lovingly opened up his empty basement for me and my pups. We moved in for the summer while I sold my home and started building FLUO.
I am pouring everything I have into FLUO. For me, this was the only option. I knew the power of this knowledge and what it had done for my own mental health and well-being, and I saw the suffering of so many others, especially our youth. So I decided that not only was FLUO going to be a conscious lifestyle brand for those of us who wish to live more consciously, but FLUO would also become a social impact company and donate a significant, meaningful portion of its proceeds (20% to be exact) from the company’s products, services and events to a youth mental health nonprofit. And on January 1, 2021 we registered the FLUO Foundation, a 501(c)(3) with an education, early intervention and prevention philosophy at the forefront of its efforts to provide a way for our community to inspire our youth to feel alive.
A few days after the New Year in 2021, I got a call from my dear friend. She told me that her son, one of my closest friends, had taken his own life. It was a call no mother should ever have to make.
I was speechless. Instantly I had to work through the shame and guilt for not getting FLUO off the ground years earlier. I was overwhelmed by a flood of emotions. Not again. He was now the fourth close friend I had lost to suicide. The first was when my best friend Ryan chose to end his life when we were both 15.
Unfortunately, I am no stranger to suicide. I, myself, struggled for many years with depression and a desire to end my own life, a struggle that persisted until I realized my connection. It was an understanding of my relationship with this flow of energy that had been fundamental to reclaiming my life.
I healed myself. Years later, my life has changed so dramatically that I can hardly recognize my past self. Through my journey, I remembered my connection to All-That-Is and developed an unbreakable knowing that I belong.
This is why I’m devoted to becoming a person who embodies a more conscious way of life and shares such wisdom with others. While my vision for FLUO is a tribute to those I’ve loved and lost, its greater purpose is to bring the message of FLUO, the message of living a more loving and harmonious life, to the world.
Our mission at FLUO is to remind us of Who-We-Are so we may connect in a way that heals us and excites us. There's a strong sense of belonging for those who rally behind FLUO because they are joining a community of revolutionaries who value their lives, appreciate our differences, seek more richness and meaning in their experiences, and celebrate every moment! Together, the FLUO Family creates a safe space to explore Yourself, love Yourself, and discover more about this powerful, exciting and creative force that is Flow.
As we elevate our consciousness and enjoy greater access to this life force, may our lives become amplified. May we become beacons of light, bright examples to others, and an echo of this precious wisdom and Unconditional Love.
May we all become an echo of FLUO.
Yours faithfully,
Nate
"There is no love that is not an echo." - Theodor Adorno
#EchotheFLUO